Friday, October 14, 2016

The International Bankers

Finally, Donald Trump has identified the true foe, the evil force behind those Satanic Clintons: The International Bankers, who are forever plotting against American sovereignty. 

We must clear up an important misconception: Despite the baseless accusations you may have heard, Donald Trump is not talking about Jews. No no no no.

NO.

He's talking about bankers. International bankers.

You know the kind of bankers I'm talking about. I'm talking about the international bankers who live in New York City and watch a lot of Woody Allen movies. Some international bankers go around wearing funny little international banker beanies. Stereotypically, they visit their international banker psychiatrists to complain about their international banker mothers.

In terms of cuisine, you can depend on the international bankers to make the world's best Reuben sandwiches. For some reason, too many international banker mothers prepare flavorless boiled lamb for their international banker holidays. (I happen to love lamb, but international bankers usually make it all wrong.) When all else fails, international bankers always know the best places for Chinese food.

International banker friends have told me that International Banker Princesses (IBPs) are both high-maintenance and terrible in bed.

Will international bankers take offense at this post? I doubt it. Many of the funniest comics in America are international bankers, and they are the first to appreciate a good international banker joke.

At any rate, I hope I've set you straight about Donald Trump. Some say that he has gone too far, and that he may have to apologize to the international bankers. Don't be surprised if he tweets a picture of himself eating a bagel, accompanied by the words "I love international bankers!"

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL
Glad to see you in good spirits!
M

Alessandro Machi said...

I have to agree with the Donald on this one. No debt can be restructured without first declaring the debtor in default, which sets in motion all kinds of economic punishments related to credit scoring and interest rate hikes caused by the poor credit score.
We're so used to quoting goofy Donald Trump antics that when he actually says something of note its hard for some to differentiate it from his usual cackle.

b said...

Something of interest: if there's no majority in the EC, for example after McMullin wins Utah, then the presidency will probably go to Pence or Kaine.

This is because in the absence of a majority in the EC, the HoR gets to pick the president out of Clinton, Trump and McMullin. Each state's delegation gets one vote, and the quorum is 34. So if enough Republican congressmen abstain, the HoR will be inquorate and whoever the Senate chooses as vice-president, out of Kaine and Pence, then gets to be president. This is all in the 12th amendment.

If the Republicans hold the Senate, then by this method they get a "proper" Republican president, Mike Pence.

If they don't, then at least they get a Democratic president who isn't Clinton, whom they hate so much; they get Tim Kaine instead.

My understanding is that if the Senate is locked, Joe Biden gets a casting vote, but I am not 100% sure of that.

fred said...

Roger Stone has a new piece out on the Russian mafia, John Podesta and the Clinton Foundation.

Anonymous said...

The vice president doesn't become president in case the house fails to elect a president; rather he/she acts as president until the house elects a president (which it can do, and is obliged to keep trying to do, right up until the presidential term expires).

For the senate's election of a vice president, a majority of all the senators (i.e. 51) is required, so the vice president's tie-breaking vote cannot come into play.

Quorum-busting will not be a smart idea. If anything, the different quorum rule in the house makes it more difficult to bust the quorum; one only needs at least one representative from at least 34 states to establish a quorum, so to bust the quorum one would need all of the representatives from 17 states to abstain. Furthermore, the present members can compel by force the quorum-busters' presence (i.e. issue arrest warrants), so if quorum-busting was the chosen tactic, they would have to go into hiding or leave the country.

A Scandinavian